Last Days of Zombie
In this black comedy, a gang of talking zombies goes on a quest to steal the serum which will finally cure their hunger for h...
Ferocious
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Good potential.
Too much clutter and it’s a weak hook. Your synopsis is better.
I find the last part of the logline to be the crux of the story. The rest is background.
Its too wordy, try to cut it down to essential wording.
I think the idea is fine but the wording could be whittled down a bit.
hmmm… not convinced. That logline needs more work.
Great logline but how does the “forbid romance” intersect with the main characters goal? is it a challenge? It also needs to be shortened.
Clearly the premise is there. This seems very lifetime network.
The logline could be trimmed to it’s true core essense – without the well-written – but wordy paragraph description. A slightly more streamlined approach will elevate this!
Welcome historical drama concept Macho and sexy
Can only echo what has gone before, also “terrorist” seems totally misplaced given the period nature of the film. This could be a great story if it’s told properly.
I’ll echo most of what Cynosurer has said. Trim trim trim. One of the longest low concept loglines I ‘ve read was Pirates of the Caribbean, yours is longer.
An American naval hero is invited by Empress Catherine to help Russia fight the Ottoman Turks, but gets sidetracked by a forbidden romance.
Just a suggestion.
Too vague and missing the hook. How does the romance impact goal? Conflict?
This needs more reference to the middle and later part of the movie and more on the central conflict for the hero and who the forces are against him.
This logline is too busy. Needs a lot of trimming. I love the subject and the time period so it’s hard to say there’s no hook but there really isn’t one in this logline. To the average reader it’s going to come across as a history lesson and the “terrorist/mercenary” hints at a possibly unwelcomed political slant/message.
How does the forbidden romance impact his mercenary position? I think that would sew up the logline..How do I vote?.cant find a link ………new at this.