Double-Cross More Images
User Rating:
VN:RO [1.9.17_1161]
Overall
Concept
Story Structure
Character
Dialogue
Grammar
Budget (1-Low / 5-High)
Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)

Double-Cross

A life and death battle on the border as a drug mule turns the tables on his captors.

2 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. Profile photo of doctormanion@gmail.com
    August 29, 2014, 6:26 pm
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    Didn’t realize it was a short at first. Read it twice. I’m familiar with feature length action thriller spec. scripts, so here’s my take for what it’s worth..
    I enjoyed the read. Clear premise. Good hook. Storyline clear. Overall characterization was good. Scene description was very good, however I felt at times I was reading a novel – to many adjectives/adverbs slows down the read. Dialogue was believable, good flow. Using flashbacks is difficult to do. I avoid them. The one on page 8 lost me in the transition back to the scene. Should there be a slug line? Overall well done.

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user
  2. Profile photo of leeoconnor
    leeoconnor says
    August 27, 2014, 5:13 am
    Overall
    Concept
    Story Structure
    Character
    Dialogue
    Grammar
    Budget (1-Low / 5-High)

    I enjoyed this very much, I like how it was action to action, keeping me reading. There’s nothing worse than a scene just dragging on.
    I could visualise what was written and it was well structured.
    I only have one query, why does Cole piss in the cup then put it to his mouth? It just seems out of place.
    I think you have a good story here, nice job.

    Lee

    VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Report user

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.