Dead Peasants
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Rating: 3.8/5 (16 votes cast)

Dead Peasants

A zombie movie fan who copes with his boring job by imagining how he’d kill his coworkers if they were bitten in a zombie apocalypse, finds himself trying to save them when he discovers his bastard boss is actually bumping off employees for the insurance.

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  1. aweiss says
    December 30, 2013, 5:40 pm
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    I agree with the others who say this is too long and too slow. But all of that is also mitigated by a well constructed plot, characters to care about, who are real, ditto for dialog, and a script that is funny, and fun to read. I think if you shorten the set up, get us into the action quicker, would solve a lot of too long and too slow. My only other qualm is that in places this reads like a novel, as in don’t put that the characters are feeling in description, since the audience isn’t reading the script. Show it in dialog, or better, in how the characters act, for example “Zach’s smile is a nasty one.”

    The ending is so bittersweet that I almost wish that the final twist hadn’t happened, even as it is germane to the plot, but expanding on that twist, as in put that twist in at the beginning, and that would also help with too long and too slow. in the end, great job all around, and i wish you the best of luck and success with this.

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    bigmark72 says
    July 15, 2013, 11:18 pm
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    This script was alright. Had it’s moments, but really couldn’t keep my attention the whole way through. I like the Zach and Brad characters you created. They play off each other well. And the love interest sub plot with Hillary seemed to work. But it seemed to drag on a little too much for me.

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  3. July 14, 2013, 1:25 am
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    Enjoyable

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  4. rhino4239 says
    July 9, 2013, 10:46 pm
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    Not too bad. Your script was pretty enjoyable, for the most part. I do believe that your characters helped push it through though. Zach and Brad were obvious strong points, as well as the Hillary character. The old guy at the dance hall, Lester, was one of your nice, brief additions. And also your minor character, Vince, was a strong too. Character flow was well done.

    Grammar and missing things like ALL CAPS for important actions were weak at times, but nothing a solid proofread won’t correct. Also, your action/description lines seem a bit on the longer side. I could easily see the point you were trying to make, and you don’t need 5 + lines, like were sometimes written. Cutting this down could possibly add room for more creative dialogue. Other than that, your story seemed to take a little too long to get going. But your little twist at the ending was nice.

    Pretty good.

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    mcaseyg117 says
    July 9, 2013, 7:34 pm
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    For a zombie film, your zombie apocalypse idea of going back and forth between reality and not seems very original. Your characters were probably the strongest thing about your script. My favorite seen was Zach and his girlfriend at the restaurant. I actually laughed out loud. Other than this the story seemed to take too long to develop and the insurance scam has been done many times. Couldn’t keep my interest.

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    arhein2223 says
    July 5, 2013, 9:46 pm
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    Zombie movies are a “dime a dozen.” In order to catch my attention in a positive way, a zombie movie better be super original and highly different than the typical zombie driven movie. And I personally feel that insurance scams are a little overdone in movies as well. The concept overall just isn’t that enticing or original enough for me personally. My main problem with this script was the simple fact that it took waaaaaaaaay too long to get to the actual point of what was actually going on in the story. I kept saying too myself, “where is this going?” and “what is the point?” I have walked out of many movies that were slow paced such as this script is. This obvious fact combined with an unoriginal zombie concept really unimpressed me personally. On a positive note, your characters were your strongest asset. Lester was my favorite. The ending had a decent twist as well.

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    AmyH says
    July 3, 2013, 9:53 am
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    You did a good job with the zombie apocalypse scenes – pretty original idea. It took forever to get to the point of the story…we should’ve heard this MUCH sooner in the script. The dialogue seemed forced. There are still many grammatical errors. Had some nice moments, but it couldn’t keep my attention.

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    July 2, 2013, 9:34 pm

    This is a great script. Really enjoyed reading this, would love to see it up on the big screen.

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  9. Profile photo of Tiana-Leigh
    July 2, 2013, 9:27 pm

    I loved this script, the dialogue, plot and characters were fantastic. The zombie obsessed Brad with his ability to relate all the situations he goes through back to zombies is brilliant. I really liked his character; nice but geeky, misunderstood, quirky but compassionate guy who uses zombie metaphors to cope with his life.

    This script made me laugh so much, it was very funny. I loved the quick-witted one liners throughout the dialogue and loved the buddy film style friendship between Zach and Brad, especially early on. Loved the interaction at the flat during the first few scenes and the dramatic tension that was built when Brad was discovered by Zach hospital … the tension that was then quickly dispelled with Brad thinking he was pretending to be a son but then realized he was pretending to be a lover when pulled into a kiss. Loved how this scene started off as being emotional and dramatic to then suddenly change with the tension being popped like a bubble then built up again. This kind of play on tension is very funny.

    The part where Hillary was urging Zach to kill his zombie-bitten best friend, while not reality, was a very powerful scene that characterized the hard decision Zach had to make when his friend was acting like that.

    The twist on Hillary’s character was great as well. You gave the trope of the girlfriend who acts as a voice of reason turned damsel in distress an interesting, ironic twist by presenting the girlfriend of the protagonist in a zombie movie as a necrophiliac. That character play was hilarious. I really liked this interesting portrayal of Hillary the sexy but caring and compassionate nurse who also happens to be into necrophilia. This quirky character that is a twist on a stereotype really intrigued me and left me wanting to know more about her and her life and her relationship with Zach. This hilarious, surprising twist on the normally stereotypical hero’s girlfriend was awesome.

    I enjoyed reading the zombie jokes such as “What Would Jesus Do? Dude was a carpenter; he’d use a hammer!” and ironic jokes regarding the conduct of characters such as “So You’ll crack company systems for fun, but you won’t give out legitimate passwords?”

    The character interaction, the witty dialogue and the very interesting plot and quirky zombie visions flowed really well creating an awesome horror/comedy/mystery/crime kind of vibe that feels edgy and fresh. It is really, really good.

    Really enjoyed this quirky, hilarious zombie homage and the use of the metaphors. Would love to see this up on the big screen.

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  10. July 2, 2013, 9:34 am
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    Very cleverly written, comedy was well incorporated and characters were quite consistent, three dimensional and amusing. The idea was well thought out and keeps the reader engaged and thinking. Clever twists and progression. Only negative thing was personally I didn’t think the extent gore and swearing and some of the themes weren’t necessary. Overall, a great story though, did think it was brilliantly written :)

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  11. Myf_Barron says
    July 1, 2013, 3:44 am
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    I would love to see this on screen! Very funny and I particularly enjoyed how the zombies functioned metaphorically.

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  12. June 30, 2013, 11:52 am
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    I liked everything about this script! Great story, interesting characters, nice twist near the end and so many funny scenes! The comedy would work so well in a movie!
    My favourite part is: “It’s not like I’ve got a severed head in my fridge.”

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  13. June 28, 2013, 3:41 am

    I thoroughly enjoyed this

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  14. Profile photo of george.kavalauskas
    June 24, 2013, 8:16 am
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    I enjoyed the scenes that jumped back and forth between reality, and the zombie apocalypse. But the main point of your script seemed to take forever to reveal itself. Your script has potential though. It just really didn’t keep my attention (and I like zombie films).

    The scene where Zach’s woman’s talks about her necrophilia was a good one.

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  15. Profile photo of Sean-Geoghegan
    June 24, 2013, 6:02 am
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    This made me laugh. The bathroom scene, the first hanging and the obsession with death all made me laugh. Well worth the read. I thought it read well.

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    khodge2011 says
    June 20, 2013, 8:29 pm
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    Hello,

    Just read your script, and I must say that the concept is a very good one. I really like the scenes where you flash to the zombie office scenes. My favorite being at the end of page 12, and page 13. The copying machine scene with Selina’s head getting smashed made me laugh.

    Page 103 had some good dialogue with Lester, and I liked how you brought Vince back at the end. Your ending was cool too; the way Zach got to prevail (I won’t list a spoiler).

    Other than that, I have to be honest and say that it seemed to take way too long to get to the point. I could for sure see this being condensed down, and maybe being a short-story even.

    The grammar needs some work as well, and the dialogue too. Sometimes the dialogue was pretty good, but it just didn’t seem to flow.

    I think your idea was great though.

    Thanks.

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    • June 28, 2013, 3:40 am

      Hi There,
      Why does the grammar need reviewing? I am not a proof reader but I understood everything that was written.
      Isn’t it for people (actors) to “talk” the way regular people do. (I guess that is bad grammar too!)

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  17. June 16, 2013, 5:53 am

    I thought I got all the grammar already – better go back and give it another check.

    Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

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  18. June 15, 2013, 11:15 pm
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    Hello. Just finished reading your script. I thought it was pretty good. There were a few grammatical errors so you might want to go back and proof-read it or have someone else do it, a trusted friend perhaps — it’s just a few sentences that didn’t make sense. And I also felt like it took a little long to get the main point of the movie started. But other than that, I enjoyed it. I’m mean who doesn’t like zombie movies — And i found the zombie parts to be a nice add and different. You did a great job on the characters. I liked them all.

    Vatican

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