Bonding In Brooklyn
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Rating: 3.4/5 (6 votes cast)

Bonding In Brooklyn

Bessie’s three grown children are not producing grandkids, so she takes the bull by the horns and gets them to deliver.

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  1. Profile photo of tsturm2010
    tsturm2010 says
    February 11, 2014, 9:55 pm
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    Not a bad script–had moments that brought a smile to my face. Lots of nods to the Coppolla/Scorcese vibe (with both the references and just in the crafting of the dialogue). The whole New York Italian/Catholic thing is pretty convincing, feels pretty natural and I can see why 24play99 mentions MOONSTRUCK–it’s got a very similar flavor, and I adored that film. Characters are good but maybe not quite extreme enough for this kind of story–it needs a Nicolas Cage-type character (if we’re still going with the comparison) who’s a little more over-the-top passionate/despairing. Maybe that needs to be Bessie, but I don’t get that from her. Overall it’s a pretty good-feeling story though it definitely needs some cleaning up grammar & punctuation-wise.

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  2. Ron-Weiss says
    January 26, 2014, 12:45 am
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    I read the script then went to the other comments. It looks like we’re mostly in agreement. This works as a play, not a movie. However even for a play, there may be a need to pare down the dialogue. There are moments when the banter becomes repetitious instead of making a point.
    Some of the characters are strong and distinct, but it takes a while for most of them to stand out. The remaining characters seem to fall into different groups. Each group is distinct but not the people in them.
    I didn’t think the story would interest me, but it actually did grab hold. The main plot is supported by a lot of interesting sub-plots and that keeps the story fresh and intriguing.

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    CharLee says
    September 10, 2013, 9:03 pm
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    Really funny story! I enjoyed it and would love to see as a stage play. Yes, it went in and out of short scenes – I started to get a little lost – so it would be something on stage.

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  4. Profile photo of kevinplewis
    September 2, 2013, 1:11 pm
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    Some typos, but overall solid. Liked the characters and setting but at times too many of them in particular scenes. Had to keep checking on who was who. Enjoyed it.

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  5. August 22, 2013, 5:33 pm
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    Great story. Very funny. Well developed and unique characters make up this lovably semi-dis-functional family. I actually laughed out loud at several of the conversations (when Tilda calls Bruno a bum and when Tommy curses out the lady for calling his baby a girl). Reminds me so much of John Patrick Shanley’s writing style, especially in MOONSTRUCK. You might do well to reference his work. I would just say do another sweep to fix some format/structural issues and inconsistencies. Other than that, not that this HAS to be changed, but just for me as a fan of the story, I would re-examine some of the conversations and see if there is a way to push some of the characters a little further in their dialogue to the extreme in the personalities you have created for them. Some are very strong (Tilda & Bruno always give you something) and while I can understand the luke warm nature of Tina and Mikey I think you can go even further with some of the other characters, that would just raise the hilarity factor for you. But that is just an idea, not a necessary fix, because you do have a great balance between all of the personalities and there is always a possibility of going too far where the characters become unbelievable. Over all a very fun read, and I agree with Rattycat, this would make an amazing live stage piece.

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    rattycat says
    August 16, 2013, 4:45 pm
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    Enjoyable story to read. A bit confusing in some places. Too many short scenes. Could be very good if smoothed out. Dialogue is good but corny in a few scenes. I believe this would be a make a interesting stageplay.

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