Atom & Eve
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Rating: 2.0/5 (2 votes cast)

Atom & Eve

It’s the newest twist on the oldest story when time begins to run out for a young boy who exists in three different worlds because the future of the human race depends on him figuring out which one is real.

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  1. Profile photo of artgecko
    artgecko says
    August 27, 2012, 3:27 pm
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    I finished reading the screenplay. I liked the idea, but the story is not complete beginning to end. The characters were not developed, I wanted to know what got them to where they were, what is the backstory. The action writing needs more work to anchor the story so that the reader doesnt float away and get lost. I do appreciate the effort and time spent on this screen play to transport the reader back to childhood.

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  2. paul says
    August 17, 2012, 6:51 am
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    I’ve just read the script. Firstly, I like the title. Sadly, though, I didn’t get the story. You mentioned ‘time running out’ in your logline, but I don’t feel that in the script, nor do I feel or believe he exists in three worlds. Instead, I see a young boy who ‘escapes’ to imaginary worlds. He does not appear to be superior in any way – just simply a young boy ‘daydreaming’. You obviously have a very good imaginiation, but you need to convey that in the script because I don’t sense it. There is very little character development and also no sign of a three-act-structure. It’s also not very clear what the protagonist’s objective is – and I don’t really know who the anagonist is (I presume it is Dr Pinkert, but can’t say for sure). There is no real build-up to a climax and ultimately not really a climax at all. Some scenes are also very repetitive and halfway through the story I thought I started reading the beginning again. There are quite a few dragged out dialogues (a whole page on eating a tomato for instance!). The story moves forward at a snails pace without anything happening.
    Please don’t take my critique personally; this is just my perception and I’m also by no means an expert – this is just my experience reading the script.
    You have quite a few missing or incomplete sluglines and often omits the time of day in the slugline. Continuously jumping from one place to the next makes it difficult to follow, although I understand what you tried to achieve.
    The script gives me a ‘Space Odyssey’ vs. ‘Zathura’ feel.

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  3. wardparry says
    August 8, 2012, 3:16 pm

    Yeah, it’s not downloading. I’ve been wanting to read this script for an age as it sounds rad. What gives? WP

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  4. Profile photo of artgecko
    artgecko says
    August 8, 2012, 9:24 am

    I cannot download to review.

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