Angel’s Redencion
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Rating: 3.3/5 (4 votes cast)

Angel’s Redencion

When a Columbian drug lord’s stray bullet, hits and kills a young girl’s mother, he must redeem himself as an angel in human form by protecting her from abuse, and exploitation. Caught in the cross hairs of a long standing vendetta, he must choose between saving the girl, and saving his soul.

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  1. January 18, 2013, 10:50 am

    its long since, been rewritten and in development..thnx much for all your input! :) Happy New Year!

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    peterfitz says
    December 12, 2012, 2:53 am
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    I was very excited to read this after seeing the logline. But I came away thinking that the following key aspect of the proposition had not been fully realised: ‘he must choose between saving the girl, and saving his soul.’ I didn’t get a sense of that conflict for Eduardo. Instead the story was primarily about Angelina and Eduardo was a secondary character to her – for me at least. I didn’t get a sense at all as to Eduardo being tempted and tested throughout his protection of Angelina. Still a great story – I just didn’t think the story matched the logline.

    The script has quite a few typographical errors and it would be worth going over it again with fresh eyes.

    There are some great visuals such as the bullet exploding through the milk. The flow of blood through the milk is wonderful symbolism.

    There were a number of scenes that I simply didn’t understand – I read and re-read but just wasn’t sure what was unfolding. Example – when the Assessor first approaches Angelina in her room.

    There are a number of gaps in the story – things that appear out of nowhere. Almost as if something had been deleted from an earlier draft and continuity hadn’t been adjusted. Examples: seeing the whisky bottle inside the house on Eduardo/Angelina’s return; and there is discussion later about the marriage occurring ‘today’ to which Angelina agrees but then Santos explains to his Mother in the next scene that its happening ‘tomorrow.’

    It’s a fine line describing what people are doing or thinking etc beyond what is expressed in dialogue and, say, facial expression. Examples – Eduardo thinks of the Assessor’s face when he died. How do we know this? And Eduardo/Tia look at each other and remember holding hands – again, how do I know they are thinking this, specifically?

    In terms of the ending I didn’t really buy into Santo happening to have the contract in his back pocket. The scene would have been powerful enough without it.

    Also, maybe I missed something in terms of a time lapse but had Angelina got married when she was just turned 13? I couldn’t buy into a story/empathise with characters where a 13 year old girl getting married is seen as ok (let alone having a baby not too long after). I may have missed something in which case I sincerely apologise – and maybe I’m being culturally ignorant. But to be honest that part of the story did trouble me a great deal and affected my overall perception to and connection with the script.

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    • January 18, 2013, 10:51 am

      culturally specific.yes Angelina got married at 13..everything that once was a thought, is nowa shot..its come a long way since I posted this

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    jjcj3113 says
    July 14, 2012, 1:05 am
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    I liked the overall story, at least I was interested enough to read the entire script.

    I would suggest doing a rewrite and get in and out of the scenes faster, use less exposition and more visuals, show don’t tell.

    The dialogue did not seem natural, it could use some rework,too.

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  4. June 8, 2012, 11:50 pm

    @pfarein1

    I wouldn’t say I’ve had good fortune going that route.I just have a few friends in the biz who would read my script. Getting past receptionists is a pain in the keester…..make mailing labels with a fake law firm name on them… a receptionist is not going to read mail coming from a law firm :)

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    • June 8, 2012, 11:53 pm

      If your script is good, don’t let a boneheaded receptionist get in your way,.psh!

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      pfarein1 says
      June 15, 2012, 6:33 pm

      Thank-you so much for all of your valuable advice!
      :-)

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  5. rickemg says
    May 30, 2012, 11:09 am
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    I enjoyed the story. A little more detail to the format and spelling. Groom your script and you’ll get stronger interest. You do have story telling down well. I can see this on the screen with the right director. Well done Samantha.

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    • June 1, 2012, 12:18 am

      Thanks.I actually, had since done a rewrite of 2 scenes for a cast member. It is a Latin film.dialogue intended for that market w/ cross-over potential..thnx much,,,,might have my lead and director sewn up..will know this weekend…….3 cast attached……..

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    pfarein1 says
    May 27, 2012, 9:41 pm
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    Thank-you so much for this screenplay, I especially appreciate your attention to detail and your storytelling.

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    • May 28, 2012, 10:46 pm

      wow,.thanks……I’ve worked on for two years. I started it in Costa Rica. Working on funding, have 3 actors attached,….ned a director and exec producer……getting there! I’m honored by your review!

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        pfarein1 says
        May 30, 2012, 7:11 am

        You’re so very welcome. I wish I had people attached to my script as you have people attached to yours. Wow! That’s awesome; I can’t wait to see it on the big screen. Many blessings to you and I hope that everything falls into place just as it should.
        :-)

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        • May 30, 2012, 9:51 am

          Get your script to cast member’s agent or managers….find them on IMDB

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            pfarein1 says
            June 4, 2012, 6:37 pm

            Writersam64,

            Thank-you for all of your advice! When going on IMDB and contacting the agent and managers of a potential cast member; do you actually send your script or just the logline? And another question I have is: what if you shoot for the moon with this? What I mean to say is: would it be advised to send a script or logline to an actor like Taylor Kitsch or am I just wasting my time? I never actually went through IMDB so I’m really needing some direction in this area, and you seem to be the closest expert I have; seeing as how you have had some good fortune with it. Thanks for your response.

            pfarein1 B-)

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