Angel’s Redencion

I was very excited to read this after seeing the logline. But I came away thinking that the following key aspect of the proposition had not been fully realised: ‘he must choose between saving the girl, and saving his soul.’ I didn’t get a sense of that conflict for Eduardo. Instead the story was primarily about Angelina and Eduardo was a secondary character to her – for me at least. I didn’t get a sense at all as to Eduardo being tempted and tested throughout his protection of Angelina. Still a great story – I just didn’t think the story matched the logline.

The script has quite a few typographical errors and it would be worth going over it again with fresh eyes.

There are some great visuals such as the bullet exploding through the milk. The flow of blood through the milk is wonderful symbolism.

There were a number of scenes that I simply didn’t understand – I read and re-read but just wasn’t sure what was unfolding. Example – when the Assessor first approaches Angelina in her room.

There are a number of gaps in the story – things that appear out of nowhere. Almost as if something had been deleted from an earlier draft and continuity hadn’t been adjusted. Examples: seeing the whisky bottle inside the house on Eduardo/Angelina’s return; and there is discussion later about the marriage occurring ‘today’ to which Angelina agrees but then Santos explains to his Mother in the next scene that its happening ‘tomorrow.’

It’s a fine line describing what people are doing or thinking etc beyond what is expressed in dialogue and, say, facial expression. Examples – Eduardo thinks of the Assessor’s face when he died. How do we know this? And Eduardo/Tia look at each other and remember holding hands – again, how do I know they are thinking this, specifically?

In terms of the ending I didn’t really buy into Santo happening to have the contract in his back pocket. The scene would have been powerful enough without it.

Also, maybe I missed something in terms of a time lapse but had Angelina got married when she was just turned 13? I couldn’t buy into a story/empathise with characters where a 13 year old girl getting married is seen as ok (let alone having a baby not too long after). I may have missed something in which case I sincerely apologise – and maybe I’m being culturally ignorant. But to be honest that part of the story did trouble me a great deal and affected my overall perception to and connection with the script.