Among Us
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Rating: 3.9/5 (10 votes cast)

Among Us

A powerful alien military leader has violated the strict anti-breeding regulations during his Earth reconnaissance mission. On the eve of a full scale alien invasion, he, his human wife and baby daughter are fighting for their lives as both humans and aliens want them destroyed.

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    1. Profile photo of jeffpier
      jeffpier says
      May 30, 2016, 8:32 pm
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      nice!

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    2. hontas190 says
      May 27, 2016, 6:01 pm
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      I’m sold!!! Good Luck.

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    3. Profile photo of rvgoya
      rvgoya says
      April 27, 2016, 8:20 am
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      interplanetary marriage…sounds like a great start…what side is he going to fight for?

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    4. Profile photo of
      says
      January 31, 2016, 8:41 pm
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      Aliens turning on aliens is a neat hook. My only thought is, the log line’s a little wordy.

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    5. December 17, 2015, 1:45 am
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      Interesting, it hooked me. Good luck to you!

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    6. Brian says
      November 26, 2015, 8:21 pm
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      Great potential. The wording is just a tad complicated. I had to read it 3 times to fully understand the concept. It is great, though. For your last sentence, I wonder if this would be more concise: “On the Eve of a full scale alien invasion, he must defend his young human family against all sides that want to kill them.”

      Great premise either way.

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    7. Profile photo of RutgerOosterhoff
      September 7, 2015, 5:35 am
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      I like it!

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    8. September 6, 2015, 10:12 pm
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      That’s pretty good. Your logline gave me the basics of what the reader needed to know and hook them. Got me wondering if the wife even knows he is alien or he told her. But the family on the run plot with enemies on both sides after them sounds like a pretty good story.

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      • Profile photo of Ccordes
        Ccordes says
        September 8, 2015, 2:39 pm

        Thank you for your feedback! I’m attempting to write the screenplay but I am definitely a novice.

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    9. August 27, 2015, 12:11 am
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      From this description at least,I have no sense of the physical contrast between aliens & humans, a key presentation point since the story premise hinges on the what this alien/human relationship LOOKS LIKE. Without that, there’s really no way to really hook my attention. The writer should tell us something about the alien’s physical difference from humans. E.G. Maybe they’re completely human-like except for purple skin.

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    10. Profile photo of RainbowHorror1234
      August 20, 2015, 8:59 pm
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      Sounds unique:)

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