A Tangled Web
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Rating: 3.2/5 (3 votes cast)

A Tangled Web

An emotionally driven story of love, vengeance and salvation. It ¬†will have you wanting to personally \’whack\’ certain characters while rooting for the salvation of others. In the end some find sorrow and pain. Others find hope and love. A few find tragic death. The lucky ones get another chance.

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  1. November 30, 2012, 12:46 pm
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    They were right – I do want to wack certain characters. :) Great job!

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  2. Profile photo of normanwilliam
    October 30, 2012, 2:40 am
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    You clearly put a lot of effort into this script and it shows. You did a great job, but there are certain important gaps in the story. I take my hat off though for tackling a mob story.

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  3. Yopauly75 says
    September 17, 2012, 9:26 pm
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    I think it’s really hard to do mob stories these days. The bar has been set really high by all the fantastic ones over the years. This story seems very familiar and doesn’t really bring anything to the table. The characters (which there were a lot) come across as very “typical”, shall we say. None of which are likeable at all. I found it really hard to root for anyone. I understood what the reader was trying to accomplish . . . an old fashion gangster story where everything ends badly for everyone, but it’s been done.

    As far as technical errors:

    – The script was FILLED with camera direction. There shouldn’t be any in the script at all and there is like six or seven on every page. You need to take ALL of them out. I know this sucks but it you have to do it.

    – Too many ALL CAP words. The only words that should be in all caps are the character names when they’re first introduced.

    – The Grammar needs some serious polishing as well. Lots of misspelled words, lack of commas, extra spaces.

    Best of luck.

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